Why Israel Matters?

The inept Obama administration and Ketchup Kerry once again burnished their mickey mouse Foreign Policy credentials when they snubbed the little country of Israel by getting the United Nations to call them a bad name. Now a lot of people seem to be upset about this. However, the pajama wearing youths in their parent’s basement are wondering what’s the big deal? After all, Israel is a really tiny country with a funny shape. Yeah, it’s like full of people who wear long beards

 and has some really hot female soldiers, 

but besides that, why should we care about them?

I decided to put together a list of why we should care to help the basement dwellers understand:

1. If you drilled a hole through the center of the earth from Israel,
   
   you would end up somewhere in the South Pacific between New Zealand and South America. There is literally nothing there besides thousands of miles of ocean and no people. Since water is really hard to dig through, there really is no reason to worry about the people of Israel digging through the center of the earth. I’d say for that reason alone leave them alone and let them dig as deep as they want to.

2. For the few kids that actually went to Sunday school, they will recall the story of the “Good Samaritan”. For those that didn’t, there is this guy who gets mugged and beat up. He must have been in the wrong area of town or something. On the other hand it was a really long time ago and in that part of the world, you’d get your butt kicked just by looking at someone wrong, unlike now where in that part of the world they just chop off your head or throw you off a building if you look at another guy wrong.

Anyway, this guy from the seamy side of the country (Samaria) comes upon this beat up guy, helps him to an AirBnB place, and pays the tab for the injured guy to be taken care of. Note the bible doesn’t say what the host charged for not only taking care of the injured guy, but also having to replace all the blood soaked sheets. My guess was it probably wasn’t enough, and the Samaritan’s ‘guest’ rating probably took a hit for that. The moral of that story is (I think) if you run a B&B, beware Samaritans bearing beat up people.

So what does all this have to do with Israel? Well that area of the world that was called ‘Samaria’ in bible times

 is now the exact area that the UN wants the country of Israel to give up so that those people can form their own country (sort of).

It sounds reasonable, right? For thousands of years, the people in Israel have not really liked those people. Why shouldn’t they have their own country? Yes, they used to be led by a guy that wore a white checkered scarf on his head that Hillary Clinton had killed,

 but that is not a good reason for them not to have their own country, am I right?

To get an answer to that you have to have just a little more knowledge. It turns out that about 70 years ago, there was this really big war. The bad guys in this war really didn’t like Jewish people and made it a policy to try to kill them all. When the US (USA! USA! USA!) beat those guys, they got to redraw all the maps of that part of the world. Since the Jewish people were almost wiped out, they drew in a country for them to have that is where a lot of the stuff in the bible said Jewish people did stuff.

About 20 years after that, the countries around Israel decided that since the Jewish people had made a pretty nice place of that area, they should have it. So they ganged up and tried to take over Israel. To make a short story shorter (the war lasted only like 6 days), the Israelis kicked their butts. In the process of beating all those other countries back, they established a new border that annexed the area was (sort of) Samaria. This was necessary so that tactically they would have the high ground should the other countries decide to gang up and hit them again. At that time they didn’t really care who was living there or what imaginary person they worshiped, as long as they stayed cool and didn’t try to kill the Jewish people.

Now fast forward 20 years. Over that time period, the people living in that area prospered. They sort of formed their own country and called themselves ‘Palestinians’. The originally wants to form their own country from the other country’s around there, like Jordan, Saudi Arabiaia, and other countries that have a lot of sand, but those countries said 'NO - this is our Sand Box! Go live somewhere else'. So the Palestinians carved out an area in Israel to live. The Israelis were like ‘OK, you can stay here but be cool’, and for a while things where OK.

Then they started wanting more and more, and the Israelis were like, ‘OK, you can set up your own government’, and they did. But then they started throwing rockets and bombs at the Israelis and saying bad things about them like the didn’t deserve to live. Since the countries around them still didn’t like the Israelis, they were like ‘Yeah! Stop oppressing those people!’. And that’s pretty much where things are today.

So why should we care about this beyond what the bible says, which a lot of people really don’t read or believe anymore? Well, to put it in terms even today’s young people can understand, it’s all about trying to keep the crazy people in that part of the world from bringing their crazy to our country. Israel is about the only true democracy in that part of the world. If they were not there, then that area would be destabilized and all kinds of crazy would leak out.

Truth be told, there is a lot of crazy leaking out already. With the war in Syria, there are already millions of refugees streaming out of that area to Europe. Along with people legitimately trying to get away from there, there are also some of the crazies coming along with them. Obama has allowed a lot of them into our country, probably along with their crazy uncles. These crazies are not crazy like your Uncle Peter who wore a dress to thanksgiving dinner last year. No, these are the crazies that will lop off crazy Uncle Peter’s head for wearing that dress (blue or otherwise). This is not a good thing, and will only be worse if Israel wasn’t there.

Ultimately Israel probably doesn’t really care what a bunch of foreign guys in New York with funny accents vote for. After all they have bikini clad Uzi toting hotties fighting on their side. What they do care about is the implicit knowledge that should they come under attack, the US (USA! USA! USA!) will come in and help they kick some ass. This is what makes Obama’s push to vote against them so concerning. Fortunately, he’s about done, and congress seems poised to tell all the New York diplomats with funny accents to go somewhere else and smoke their hookahs. When DJT takes over in a few weeks, he’ll maybe make it official. Way to (hopefully) go DJ!

1/4/17: Update!!!!
Wecome again to the site Moon Nukers! Take a few minutes to poke around and see what I have been up to in the 3 or 4 months since Harvey last gave me a link. Yeah, the answer to that one is probably not a lot, but I have been trying to give out some free ice cream almost daily now, so bookmark me and come on back occasionally for some more mindless drivel. It'll only hurt just a little!