Thursday, October 31, 2013

It's A River In Egypt

I am back (somewhat). I apologize for the absence, but sometimes you do what you have to do, I did, and I am not really sorry about it... so there's that.

This post I am going to go on and on a bit about denial. The thing that got me started thinking about this (beyond the very obvious shortcomings in my own life), was listening to a radio blurb Monday morning where they were doing a spot on the alleged football game between the hapless Redskins and the Broncos. What got my attention was when they quoted RG3, the erstwhile Redskins quarterback, saying that the team was better than their record.

Now as observed for individual players on individual plays he is correct. There were some brilliant plays by the Redskins in that game that actually made it entertaining for a while. That being said, RG3, and the whole organization, are living in a sad state of denial if they believe they are not as bad as their record. There were too many missed passes, missed defensive opportunities, badly called plays, missed this, missed that, and missed the other thing in that game. They truly are a second rate team with a first rate player budget, relying on an affluent fan base and big market advertising to sustain what really should be an unsustainable program. They haven't been good for probably more years than I've been a fan. To believe otherwise is to take a seat on that big green overstuffed chair called denial.

In any case, that got me thinking about the role reality denial plays in our world. We all deny our reality to some extent. It is a coping mechanism for the complex and often baffling world we encounter where we are told by our betters that what we think we know as reality isn't. The political landscape is littered with such platitudes such as "If you like your plan you can keep it", "More guns on the street mean more death and destruction", or "Global warming is settled science". Rationally you can look at each of these, and wonder how they can possibly be true in the face of cold hard facts. You shrug, shake your head, and move on, content with the knowledge that there are enough rational and thinking people in your society that will apply the same critical thinking skills and these seeming transparent falsehoods will be regulated to the lunatic fringe. Instead, we are surprised when these beliefs apparently become mainstream and we become the fringe. Take a place up there on that big green chair with RG3 and the coaching staff of the Redskins, because you sir or madam are in a state of denial.

Comfortable? Good. As they say in the AA meetings, admitting you have a problem is the first step toward recovery. Toward that end, i'd like to start this out in AA fashion. Here you go:
Hi, my name is Mike, and i'm a gun hugging, science denying, poor people hating because I don't want them to have health insurance conservative.
I'm pretty sure i'm supposed to hear a rousing "Hi Mike" here. No? Ok. Next I guess I should say how long it's been since I last expressed my hateful conservative rhetoric:
It's been five days since I last blogged about my dear leader's incompetence.
So far so good. I understand there are 'steps' involved in this process, and found the innerwebs had a good list on Wikipedia - so here I go with a conservative's adaptation of that list:
1. I admit I am powerless in the face of the liberal media's ability to warp reality
Let's face it. They are really good at lying. They do it consistently, loudly, and with great conviction. There is nothing I can write here that is going to change that.
2. There is a greater power than myself that can restore me to sanity
Well duh! We are talking about 2 branches of the government + 1/2 of the remaining third + all the RINOs in the House of Representatives. The power doesn't get any higher than that.
3. I will turn over my will and life over to this higher power.
 Well that's not really necessary. Once Obamacare takes over, the death panels will literally have the power of life and death over me anyway. The mental health profession can't be too far behind them to take care of that whole 'will' thing.
4. Search my inner self for my moral weakness in the face of the Democratic way
See, now we have a problem. From everything I know, even though their rhetoric attempts to take the moral high ground, it's usually based on some fairly immoral foundations. I guess I will understand that more when I complete step 3 and lose my will.
5. Admit to Obama and my peers exactly what I have done as a conservative and why it was wrong
Humm. Well, I guess I can give that a try. I like being able to defend myself and my family against criminals, and that is wrong because the criminals deserve, well, something. I have attended tea party rallies to protest against Obamacare, and that was wrong because I was in that crowd that didn't spit on that congressman.  I did attend various town hall meetings and even stood outside one where my congresscritter's 'open town hall' was actually on property closed to the general public. That was probably wrong because congressman are people too and deserve the respect of the electorate, except if they are Republicans. I'm sure that given time, i'll think of some more...
6. I am entirely ready for Obama to remove my belief in a free society
Ok. that one is going to take a little more time and effort...
7. I humbly ask Obama and the democrats to remove my conservatism.
I picture that looking like this:

Though again, I guess with the miracle of modern psychotherapy, this won't be much of an issue after the proper application of #3.

8. Make a list of all the democrats I have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them
9. Make amends to them where ever possible, unless it will do them harm
Sadly, my list is pretty short. I guess I could join my congresscritter's re-election campaign, but I suspect that having another old white bigot on the staff might not do him much good.

The rest of the steps are more blah, blah, rinse, repeat. So I am going to skip them for now. Let's just say I have a very long road to go, and will probably always be a recovering conservative. I guess I should end this with the Serenity Prayer, but prayer is the last thing a recovering conservative should be doing... Awe what the hell:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Screw you Obama! Now, who wants a drink?

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