You had me at 'Good Morning'

So I woke up this morning listening to NPR carrying The Bamster's Weekly Radio address. I was struck by his smugness and apparently willingness to continue demagoguing in the face of apparently yet another GOP cave to his kingship. I copied down the full text and thought i'd take a deeper look at just what he said. So here that goes:

Good morning.

Ok, given that this came out at something like 5am, nobody really believes that he recorded this sometime this morning, if so it was like 1am, and he and Reggie Love were doing shots in the secret White House rumble room. His speech is not a bit slurred, so I am guessing that he did this sometime yesterday afternoon. So thanks Mr President, you have, in true form, started out with a lie.

Over the past few days, I’ve met with Republicans and Democrats from both houses of Congress in an effort to reopen your government and remove the dangers of default from our economy.

Well sure he met with Boner. But as I recall, Boner came out of that meeting talking about how pointless it was as The Bamster just went over how he was not going to negotiate. So, while the first sentence is technically correct, it is something of a lie by omission. To actually open the the government, it would have to be closed. So far, 83% of it remains active, with only NTSB, food inspectors, and park rangers getting sent home.

It’s a positive development that House Republicans have agreed on the need to avoid the economic consequences of not meeting our country’s commitments. 

So it's just the house republicans that aren't meeting our obligations? You make it sound like these obligations just grew on trees and somehow fell on our country unbidden. The truth is a bit more complicated. Basically you have been given a blank check, and now that Congress is balking, it's their fault they are not handing you another one to spend.

 Because once the debt ceiling is raised, and the shutdown is over, there’s a lot we can accomplish together.

HAHAHA! Once I get what I want, I can make them squirm and give me even more of their stuff!

We’ve created seven and a half million new jobs in the past three and a half years. Now let’s create more.

 Why tell the truth when a bald faced lie will do, as long as you continue to repeat it. This economy is in the toilet, and August unemployment hit 4 year low because people are giving up on looking for jobs.

 We’ve cut our deficits in half over the past four years.

Um, math question here. If that is true, then why do we need to increase the debt limit? the real truth is the debt under your administration dwarfs all the preceding administrations.  Here's a handy chart.

 Now let’s do it in a smarter, balanced way that lets us afford to invest in the things we need to grow.

So the way to grow the economy is to spend more money on government programs? Who knew? If all our income and money went to the government, we would be all fabulously wealthy and never have to work again. What a great idea!

 <blah, blah...> I met with some really innovative small business owners on Friday who’ve already lost contracts, lost customers, and put hiring on hold – because the pain of this Republican shutdown has trickled down to their bottom lines. It’s hurting the very citizens that our government exists to serve.

Well that kinda fits with the above. The little guys that are being hurt are contractors that can't get their money from the government. The government is set up to serve those guys? that doesn't seem right... I am thinking that old Republican had it all wrong - perhaps it was because he was a warmonger making a speech at a battlefield:

 that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Guess he didn't get the word about government serving the contractors. What a maroon!

That’s why a growing number of reasonable Republicans say it should end now.

HAHAHA! I've got a bunch of them scared by a fake poll by NBC/WSJ!

 And it wouldn’t be wise, as some suggest, to just kick the debt ceiling can down the road for a couple months, and flirt with a first-ever intentional default right in the middle of the holiday shopping season.

 Republicans want to steal Christmas! The bastards! I bet their going to kill Kenny too!

Because damage to America’s sterling credit rating wouldn’t just cause global markets to go haywire; it would become more expensive for everyone in America to borrow money. Students paying for college. Newlyweds buying a home. 

Let's set aside the fact the, um, elephant in the room is that America's credit rating is complete BS, given we are the largest debtor nation on earth, largely obfuscated by the fed's 'quantitative easing' (buying our debt up by printing money). In fact, what you are saying is if the debt limit isn't raised, then the house of cards will come falling down. So rather than face our problems, it's just best to pretend they are not there.

It would amount to a new tax – a Republican default tax – on every family and business in America.

Nothing partisan about this discussion. Again, this debt thing is somehow the Republican's fault for trying to force you to deal with it.

It doesn’t have to be this way. It’s not supposed to be this way. Manufacturing crises to extract massive concessions isn’t how our democracy works, and we have to stop it. Politics is a battle of ideas, but you advance those ideas through elections and legislation – not extortion.

Uh, small point here, but this whole thing is about legislation that deals with one of the primary responsibilities of congress - authorizing spending. What you really mean is you control the two thirds of the government, you won, so the House republicans should sit down, shut up, and do as their told. Unfortunately, while I haven't checked them all, i'm pretty sure they were elected too.

<blah, blah> I want you to remember: this is not normal. Our government is closed for the first time in 17 years. A political party is risking default for the first time since the 1700s. This is not normal. 

 As I pointed out earlier, only 17% of the government is closed. While it is unusual for someone that was a member of the 'Choom Gang' way back then, government shutdowns are pretty common in our system of government - 17 times seems to be the number that keeps popping up.  The risk of default is also a bit of a red herring. If the debt limit is raised, then the government will have to make do with the money it gets in... i.e. - austerity. Again, it is notable that this debt did not just drop on us from the sky.

Whether it’s the work of creating jobs, growing the economy, or getting our fiscal house in order for the long haul, we’ve got a lot of work to do – and constant brinksmanship doesn’t let us do it.

As I recall, it was The Bamster that has refused to negotiate and forced the 'brinkmanship'. But by all means, blame the whole thing on the Republicans.

<blah, blah> - the more frequently this brinksmanship is inflicted – the more we’ll see markets react, businesses put off plans to spend and hire, and unemployment claims tick up. 

Wait a minute! Didn't you just say that you had created a bunch of jobs? So which is it? Are the number of jobs going up and the economy is going gangbusters, or not? Ah - I see, the tanked economy and all the jobs lost over the past four years are because the republicans have shut down the government now? I had no idea the economy was so prescient.

 The hundreds of thousands of hardworking civil servants who go even longer without pay will worry that they won’t be able to cover their bills, and that their own creditworthiness will be ruined for no good reason at all. And I want to thank all the neighbors and local business owners who’ve shown acts of kindness to these Americans who serve their country. I ask that same spirit of citizenship from lenders who do business with these folks. Because they’re being punished enough through no fault of their own.

As I have stated elsewhere, while I feel for those workers that have been laid off on essentially paid vacations, they are last people I would worry about. To make this about government employees who are on paid vacations is really kinda slimy.

So let’s pass a budget, put people back to work, and end this Republican shutdown

Not my fault! Not my fault! Not my fault! The buck didn't even think about stopping here!

Because there is so much else we should be focusing our energies on right now. We’ve got to create more jobs, and kids to educate, and an immigration system to fix. We’ve got more troops to bring home, and a middle class to rebuild, and opportunity to restore.

Allow me to translate:

1. Create more jobs: give my cronies and the unions more of your money.
2. Educate kids: indoctrinate the kids to the principles of Marx, and the values of socialism. If you don't like it we'll lock you up.
3. Fix immigration: Flood the system with illegals from Mexico, solidifying a democrat voter block for the next 50 years 
4. Bring the troops home: give up, except for our support of our Muslim brotherhood friends in Egypt and Al Qaeda in Syria, because really - who cares about a bunch of dead Christians?
5. rebuild middle class: Give more money to the freeloaders, moving them into the middle class, solidifying that voting block.

Finally:

And as always, this country works better when we work together.Thank you, and have a great weekend.

As long as I get my way, nobody gets hurt. You got a problem with that? Does that whole 'great weekend' thing sound a little ominous to anyone else? No? Ok then, y'all have a great weekend, ya hear?

UPDATE: Welcome IMAO readers! Since you are reading this on Monday, you'll probably be thinking "What the heck? Have a great weekend?" No worries though, since this is Columbus Day, it still counts as the weekend! So, kick off your shoes (except for Ernie - jeez that guy has smelly feet), make your self comfortable, and stay a while. Heck, even bookmark me or subscribe to my RSS feed. You could do a drinking game with that by how many times I go back and edit some completely incoherent post after I publish it. Fun stuff, most of the time... and thanks for dropping by.