Wednesday, July 3, 2013

A Really Nice Prison...

So I saw where the First Lady noted that being in the White House is kinda like being in a 'really nice prison'. That got me thinking that it would be useful, nay, even educational to look at how Michelle Obama's life in the White House compares to life in a really nice prison. So here are some areas that I came up with to compare.

Living Space

An important element to the quality of a life in a place is the actual physical structure. It sets your frame of mind and is central to how a family connects. So lets see how the White House living space compares to a nice prison.

White House:

The White House living space is a bit cramped as it is a little known fact that the official residence really only takes up a single floor of that tiny little building on Pennsylvania Ave. I can see her point about it being, well, confining.

Nice Prison:

Now these guys have it made. Look at all the room those bunks have. And they each have their own little shelves to put their stuff on. Man, it's exactly like the White House!


A very smart person noted long ago that 'Clothes Make The Man' (or women). Let's see how the confining role being First Lady and the dress codes compare to similar issues at a nice prison.

White House:

As we all know, the First Lady has to put up with being a fashion diva. Having to wear all those goofy outfits that every designer that comes along and offers her is a terrible burden. Somehow she manages to pull it off.

Nice Prison:

Now naturally in a nice prison the inmates have a somewhat more limited wardrobe. I mean really, they have to wear whatever the lowest bidder talks the state into buying. What a burden! Just like the First Lady.


We all know how hard it is to live with people that we don't really know that well. All manner of people spend the night at the White House, so the First Lady is no stranger to sharing living space with people she doesn't really know that well. Lets see how that compares to the experience of a guest of the state in a nice prison.

White House:

Part of the sacrifice of being the First Lady is putting up with all manner of celebrities knocking on your door and wanting to sleep in your house. Michelle has to put up with all kinds of Hollywood and Entertainment riff-raff sleeping over. Beyonce and Jay-Z? I'm sure it was a terrible struggle to put up with them. At least she was able to send that funny little man away out the back door before anyone could see him.

Nice Prison:

In prison you get to be near all kinds of famous people. Imagine this nice family man living just a few doors down from you. Nice Prisons are just like the White House that way.

Phone / Internet

In today's connected world, access to communications is everything. Let's see how the restrictions put on the First Lady compare to those folks residing in a nice prison.

White House:

Since all sorts of foreign powers and well - nitwits - want to listen in on communications, the First Lady is limited to using defensible communication devices. Namely, the trusty old Blackberry. Not the latest iPhone or Android. A Blackberry! How awful for her. Of course, that is offset somewhat by her having access to a little communications center right in her own basement.

Nice Prison:

Well most prisoners don't have internet access. In fact, if they have been in long enough, they haven't even seen an android device. So, unlike the First Lady, they don't have to worry about such things. However, they too are limited to older technology like pay phones. Of course, their rates may be a little higher than the First Lady's, but you can't have everything. They are after all paying their debt to society. But I can see how they have communications challenges just like the First Lady.


We all know that Michelle Obama has been front and center in the fight for all of us to have good and healthy food. It will be interesting to compare this area of living in the White House to a Nice Prison. 'You Are What You Eat'!

White House:

Get a load of that menu from a dinner the First Lady had to put on. While it looks yummy, I am not sure the bazillion carbs and calories is such a good idea. I imagine that the guys at a Nice Prison might just have an edge here.

Nice Prison:

I was right! While this doesn't look as yummy, it does appear to be balanced and healthy, and careful to not make one fat. Who knew that at least in the food department, the Nice Prison actually has the edge over White House living?

Entertainment Center

A very important part of living in America is kicking back and watching a movie or a game. Let's see how this experience differs between living in the White House and a Nice Prison.

White House:

Wow! How Dorky! Looks like the White House TV room can only hold a few close friends. that doesn't look like much fun at all, though I do like the ottomans. Guess it sucks to be you if you are in the back rows.

Nice Prison:

Look at those guys all cramped in a small room too. I bet the White House has a projected TV just like that. So the Nice Prison and the White House are virtually indistinguishable. 

Trips / Outings

Now us normal people have no idea how difficult it is to travel like the First Lady. I imagine the the residents of a Nice Prison have issues just like the First Lady when they travel. Let's take a look.

White House:

Look at the cramped conditions the First Lady has to endure. But of course, the real attraction of travel is not the trip, but where you have to go. 

Ugh! The First Lady is always being dragged to Hawaii for some reason (her husband was born there or something). That is really boring. However, she has been able to convince her husband to go to a few other places for a modest cost, so life is bearable on that score.

Nice Prison:

I must say that residents of the Nice Prison don't get out as much. However, if they are lucky, they will get a chance to get out, stretch their legs, and get in some exercise doing good for society. Just like the First Lady on her trips. 


After all this analysis, I think we have reached the startling conclusion that the First Lady was absolutely accurate in saying that living in the White House was just like living in a Nice Prison. I for one will be very careful to believe everything she says for now on.


IMAO Readers! Welcome! Much thanks to Harvey for once again granting me a LOTD! Come back & look around here occasionally. There is a quite a bit here, & occasionally I post amusing stuff like this. Thanks for visiting....

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