Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Keeping It Real

(Why this? Wait for it - 'She's so fine, there's no telling where the money went')

So as this article indicates, the US government for 70 days has magically had neutral money flow and the national debt is stuck at 16.699369X1012 . I can't imagine how they are doing that. My guess is they do the same thing that I do when I am out of money, check all the places where I have lost or hidden money. Here are some of the places that I think Jack Lew and President Obama have probably checked to get money to keep the government running:

Yep - i'd bet there are billions of couches scattered all over the various agencies that make up the Federal Government. I'd even bet that Jack and Barack have even organized a volunteer task force in each agency whose sole purpose is to scour each couch and turn over the change found there keep our Federal Government going.

Tin Cans Hidden In White House Lawn:
And you thought Michelle was just making some sort of 'healthy food' garden thing or something. Nope! It is a well established fact that during the depression, FDR buried cans of money on the White House lawn as insurance for when 'things really got bad'. I do commend the first lady for getting her priorities right and using the child labor to get this done though. Way to go Michelle!

Clothes Pockets:
The Obama's spare no expense when they go on vacations. Therefore it does not stretch the imagination that Barack may have left a few million or so of 'walking around money' in his pockets from those trips. Yeah, they will have sand all over them & stuff, but Barack knows a lot of guys who can laundry clean that money for him from his Chicago days.

Car Seats:
Apparently the President has a great many limos. They are always in use by lots of rich people, so it is a pretty good bet that there is a great deal of change in the seats that has fallen out of pockets. Unfortunately I suspect that searching there won't be near as productive as other options as they are probably searched by the Secret Service each time the limos are used. Damn that Secret Service! Why do they hate America?


Old People:
Old people are a well known source of money. How many times as a kid did you go to your gullible old grandma and say 'can I have some money for candy?' Every time she would give it to you, even when you were in your teens and just trying to get some beer money. Barack and Jack can probably work that angle too. Old people love to help out.

Nigerian Prince Scam:
This may come as a revelation to some, but our current President is is 1/2 black and may actually have been born in Kenya - a country not far from Nigeria (or at least on the same continent). This makes him a natural to pull the 'Nigerian Prince' scam. It would be so believable!

With all these options, I am thinking that Congress can just return to their offices and go back to sleep on their couches there. Just someone be sure to wake them up when the 'Obama's Organizing for Capitol Couches' volunteers comes by.

1 comment:

  1. My money's on the Kenyan Prince scam